Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
the raccoons are back...
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