I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
