I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
