Operation Purity has been aborted
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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