They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
