i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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