i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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