Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
