if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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