I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
A+ Viking dick
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
