ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
