She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You're a waste of cheezeits
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
