My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
