i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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