did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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