he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
