so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
