party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
