areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
