I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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