I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
