If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
