Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
