Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
