glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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