Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
