He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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