For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
