i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
