Don't make out with my wife yet
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
