You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
