i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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