all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
