she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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