dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
