Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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