As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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