I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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