Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
