did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
