Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
its liver damage thursday
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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