Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
