The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
