Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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