ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
