Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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