...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
