how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
