i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
id be glad to
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
