out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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