You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
