you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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