Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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